Rudolph Dreikurs presented the four mistaken goals of a child in his book Children the Challenge. Initially, skepticism grabbed me. However, personal observations have validated Dreikurs statements demonstrating his claims even today. Gaining power appears as an integral part of a child’s DNA. Power, the first mistaken goal. I believe springs forth from desiring independence. Unguided independence-seeking Children morph into wanting power over others. Attempting to Gain power over others typically masks a child’s insecurity. Reading this post, you are identifying those adults who strive for power over others. Attention seeking, the second goal, presents like anger when internalized by the parent. Differentiating between annoyed and anger is challenging depending on the state of our mind. Vengeance, the third goal, manifests proportionally smaller than anger, however parents tend to have a longer burn time. Wounded parents’ express deep hurts well into their later years. Finally, hopelessness or Avoidance is the most baffling. Internally frustrating, life draining, Hopelessness requires a super antibiotic horse pill size dose of encouragement.
Questions to ponder?
If I am angry with my spouse are we in a power struggle?
Are we haveing issues because one of us or both of us have not grown up?